Thursday, May 23, 2013

Author instability

I made the decision to limit my blogging until A Woman’s Worth is completed, but today I felt the need to post.

For the past few days, I’ve been frustrated, discouraged and slightly depressed. Everything is getting on my nerves. I feel unproductive, unsuccessful, unmotivated, isolated and lonely. Yesterday, I even experienced an ugly moment of writer jealousy for which I am not proud.

My sales are in the toilet this month, because I stepped back from doing promotion in order to write - one of the miserable things about being an indie author without an assistant to do the grunt work for you.

Thought I'd hooked up with a new critique partner, but that didn't work out. I need someone to interact with on a regular basis, and after she agreed, she realized she didn't have the time.
Still haven't written the big initial love scene, because I seem to have a mental block against it.

After I read my devotionals this morning, God gently reminded me that I go through this syndrome with every book. He said if I didn’t believe Him, I needed go back through my blogs (this one and the old one) and see proof.

Sure enough, when I did I found entries entitled, “Frustrated,” “Overwhelmed,” "Distractions," and “Obsession.”

This valley experience seems to just be part of my process, but I hate it and would love to find a way to avoid it completely. I just want to get back to being the happy writer…




Adrienne Thompson said...

I feel you. Up until last night I was going through the same thing with a book I hope to release this fall. Then it just clicked and the part of the story I'd been struggling with just came together. It's just a part of it. Without the downs, we wouldn't appreciate the ups! Keep writing :)

Alisha said...

Know that you aren't alone, Chicki. I go through the exact same thing and hate it. I have incredibly productive writing periods and then very long periods of burn out. Keep moving forward. You'll be the happy writer again soon! Hugs!

Chicki said...

I appreciate your comments, ladies. Right now, I think it's the isolation and the looming deadline that's gotten to me.

Right now I'm in Chick-Fil-A working on that dreaded love scene. LOL!

J.L. Campbell said...

Life's like that and we all go through it. I wonder why I continue to write, but that question doesn't stick in my mind for long and soon I'm back doing what I do best.

The solitariness of what we choose to do can sometimes get to us. Hang in there.

bettye griffin said...

Cheer up! Remember one of the best things about indie pubbing: There's no rule that says your book has to be published by a certain date. Be vague during your process and tell readers it's coming "later this year," "by fall," etc. Hold off on announcing a more specific date until your book is very, very close to publication. Part of your problem might come from overwork struggling to meet a deadline. Another rule of writing: It's supposed to be fun.

Regarding sales slowing because of no promotion, don't sweat that, either. The most important thing you can do as a writer is write. One day you will have enough books out to guarantee you a steady income without having to do anything but make an occasional announcement (for me the magic number was 9). Realize that you are getting closer to that point with every book you publish.

Consider taking one day off from writing to recharge and see if that helps at all. Good luck!

Carolyn Arnold said...

You are NOT alone! I'm there today myself. Keep plugging away. It will all come together again. Maybe even tomorrow. :)

Lissa Bryan said...

I think this sort of thing is common among writers. It's a lonely profession at its heart, and people who aren't writers really can't understand its anxieties and pressures, especially given that many of those anxieties and pressures are self-inflicted.

There's an old Zen saying: A student goes to his mater and says, "Master, I feel discouraged. What should I do?" The master replies, "Encourage others."

I find it to be very true. I feel better after I encourage someone else who's struggling.

Chicki said...

Thanks for your comments! Things are already looking up. I worked away from home all day today and got a lot accomplished.

I also have the possibility of working with a new critique partner.

Make no mistake. I looove what I do, but it's not always fun.

Sharon Cunningham Cooper said...

Though I hate that you've been feeling...down, I'm glad to know its not just me! I had no idea that other writers get this way (I honestly thought it was just me!). I'm sure you'll be back to your old self in no time!

When I post on someone's blog, I don't always have a chance to read the comments by others, but today, I'm so glad I did! I particularly appreciated Bettye Griffin's comment. I am a very focused person (which isn't always good) and when I set a deadline for myself, I drive myself nuts in trying to keep that deadline. With my latest release (trying to get it ready on time), I was about ready to give up writing completely because I couldn't make my self-inflicted deadline/ release day. Thank you Bettye for the reminder - I'm the boss of MY writing journey! If I fall behind on my deadline, I'll change my release day...and I won't be disappointed. It's all about putting out good work...not just making a deadline.

Hang in there, Chicki!